Ariana Grande: Her Life, Her Story

Title: Ariana Grande: Her Life, Her Story
Year: 2013 (Woodbridge Films)

I actually thought I just watched a fan made video compilation from youtube, feeling cheated of my time, I went to the kickass.to page and gave it negative feedback saying that this was just a compilation of youtube videos and not the real documentary because clearly, no one would release this and sell it to the public. I even planned to give the post review the title “Ariana Grande Her Life Her Story 2013 DVDRiP X264 TASTE” and list [uploadernamehere] as the director just for fun and really just to substantiate the time I’ve wasted watching it.

Well I was wrong, this really was the Documentary, and that is why it’s never in stores according to this gangsta ass youtuber called M.O.N.E.Y.M.A.K.E.R. who insists that he’s our boy. He shares my sentiments from the first line of this post and solidifies it by saying it the maximum times he can in a span of 7 minutes:

Haha he flips the DVD case 360 degrees so that we could see the cover and the back and gives a 10 minute review that basically and literally only says “I hate the interviews” and “you could search it on youtube”. That video was actually more entertaining than the documentary, and that… really says a lot.

now for the review:

The beginning is like an intro to a POV porn video where the guy holding the camera pretends to ask a question and the girl answers, you know with amateurish acting and everything. This is exactly like that, complete with campy acting.

Guy Interviewer: I’m really interested in..in what you think makes you different.

Ariana Grande: Well that’s a BIG question, that’s a very HARD one. and “I’m in the POSITION to DO IT…So that’s a dream COME true..in I think about it for too LONG(she says LONG with apparent vigor) it gets a little intimidating.

Ariana Grande can easily be a porn star’s name. It’s in the league of stage names like Sasha Grey or Jenna Haze. But I’m going too far because that’s actually her REAL name. But isn’t she a metaphorical porn star? oh wait, aren’t we all. The only difference is, she is a porn STAR and we are just prostitutes. It’s great that she thinks her work of singing and dancing aren’t as jobs because she enjoys doing them, kind of like play really. Wahaha this is so much laughable, or it’s just really genuine Hollywood life.

“Last time I was really into short skirts, and now long pencilly ones, so you know..trying new things”.

Yes that is very profound. she even gets interviewed by the fakest guy ever Mario Lopez. He looks like a living breathing Southpark “fake annoying TV guy that chicks dig” caricature for stereotypes like that. Who then asks her while looking at her pervertedly “Who’s your favorite to collaborate with?” and he knows it but she answers anyway, Big Sean, “I love working with him obviously, we’ve done many songs together.. a few you haven’t even heard yet”. I wonder if they were really making songs or you know.. something else. Also she is the icon that celebrates America’s pedophilia.

She started in VICTORiOUS and then the network realized that the fans loved the colored (as in blonde and red head) side-kicks more than their brunette protagonists, they made a show just for them. Or the loyal audiences that just hit puberty really wanted something new to fap to either way.

I liked Ariana ever since because she was such an airhead, and hot at the same time. A real tried and tested formula. Whenever I flipped through channels (when I still had a TV) and it happened to pass through VICTORiOUS I would stop there, get a glimpse of Tori and Ariana (and imagine the evolution of Nickelodeon’s target audience from little girls to pedophiles) and watch what this seemingly innocent, but subconsciously sexed up teens do to make their lives interesting to watch.

They don’t, they’re just really hot.